Completely LOST: Part I

About three weeks ago, three friends and I began the journey on Oceanic 815 for the first time. First of all, JJ Abrams is a genius. The writers of LOST are so familiar with literary theory and what the viewer expects that they are excellent at twisting it all the time. I find great joy in creating the most ridiculous theories that my mind can conjure up...and I thought you might find them enjoyable, so I thought I'd share. I also look forward to reading back through these posts when I get to the end of the show.
DISCLAIMER: I am still on Season 1...and plan on watching the entirety of LOST. Please don't tell me what really happens. I'm giving you a ton of power here. In your hands you hold the power to destroy my viewing pleasure for the rest of the year. Don't spoil my fun... if you tell me what happens I can't develop any more theories.
Additional disclaimer:: I don't really think these are true... I do, however, think they are hilarious.

Theory: There Is No Island
Every person on the island has a reason to be there (at least every person that seems to matter in the character line thus far). Most of them were responsible for someone else's death... or are in love with their step-sister, which is just not culturally acceptable. The island isn't real. It's a place they have created in their heads to escape from reality.

Theory: Ethan Is All Shades of Evil
Ethan just died a few episodes back, but before he died I was convinced he was the French lady's husband. He stole Claire because she is about to have a baby, and he wants to name the baby Alex because that was his son's name before his French wife killed him. Ethan also is the smoke monster and the ring leader of the "others" who whisper in the jungle. They live in the hatch that Locke and Boone found...which is a tunnel all over the island (which is why Scott was killed via attack from the ocean side). Ethan may also reincarnated as the boar that is destroying Sawyer's life.

Theory: Tuck Everlasting
No one really dies on the island. Take a look at Charlie. There is no reason he should have lived through Ethan hanging him from a tree...but he did.  Continued Tuck Everlasting theory: When people "die" they become part of Ethan's clan. It's like when you get caught playing Red Rover... you have to stay on the other side.

That's all for now..but I'm sure I'll develop more soon as my imagination gets carried away and I chase more pigeons... not trying to determine what is really going on, but just hoping to have a blast making up stories.